Hey! Why not go check out my new writing-related site if you’re so in love with writing and all?

Dear the Internet,

It’s true! I’m splitting the site in half: writing and related stuff goes over to the new Andrew P Street Is The Internet, while SYSRTBIIAs will remain safely here because I don’t want to even think about doing all those links again. And because late December is the perfect time to embark on a complicated and unrewarding nightmare project

I’ll be slowly hacking bits out of here and grafting them onto the new site, like some hideous Frankenstein monster who no longer cares about Google rankings.

COME JOIN ME, WON’T YOU?

Yours ever,

APS

Er, hi. How the hell is it November all of a sudden?

Dear the Internet,

Sorry, I’ve been neglecting this dusty little corner of the World Wide Webz – but rest assured that it’s not because I’ve been unusually lazy, but because I’ve been busy. Because I am WERKING JERNALIST.

An artist's impression of my post-invoice situation, because writing for a living is incredibly lucrative. Also, because I am an elderly duck.

An artist’s impression of my post-invoice situation, because writing for a living is incredibly lucrative. Also, because I am an elderly duck.

I’m in a bunch of print things either not (or not yet) on the interwebs: there are a load of film reviews in the Sunday papers at the moment written by me – seriously, 2Guns is surprisingly awesome – and the upcoming Australian Guitar has a lovely big feature on how Tumbleweed kissed and made up (and how the resulting album is possibly the best they’ve ever done). There was a Rolling Stone interview with Franz Ferdinand in there somewhere too, and a piece on digital music for Virgin’s inflight magazine Voyeur.

Speaking of music, here’s my argument at Fasterlouder about how Future of the Left’s new album is the best thing of 2013, obviously

And there’s a whole lot of politics at TheVine and Time Out with my regular columns 10 Things (Mon-Thurs) and Word on the P Street (every Thursday), respectively. Those links will take you to the specific archives where ALL MY WORDS ARE BURIED.

What else? Oh, I bitched about Kyle & Jackie O at Time Out in that brief, halcyon afternoon where we thought they were gone from the airwaves, I made fun of Halloween costumes because clickbait at TheVine, I talked about the possible actual death of Australian music festivals and the Paul Kelly doco at the Guardian, as well as interviewed Calexico (as part of my loads-and-loads-of-coverage I did the Guardian for Brisbane Festival, which was my first travel-and-be-a-correspondent gig ever), lived out a long-time dream by interviewing US sex advice columnist Dan Savage,and a less long-time dream by interviewing Tom Hiddleston about the new Thor film, and mourned Lou Reed.

I also established which is the most deceptively difficult karaoke song in the entire world, because the big issues are what I deal with, and asked Daily Life if men can ever hope to be as funny as women. And there were also a load of other things that I can’t remember without looking  through my diary and crying blood. September/October, you’ve been a lot of work.

But: there’s a load more coming, and my plans to get a new and prettier website happening (and to get back into Songs You Should Rediscover Today Because They Are Awesome in a more active way) are still operational. Honest. Along with about six other projects in various states of undress.

Speaking of which, I should really put some pants on.

Yours ever,

APS

Why an Abbott victory might actually be OK for the left, and other things

Afternoon, Internet,

APS - a vision in tiredness

Andrew P Street, Thursday 5 September 2013: a human poem in tiredness

Just popping in because it’s been a while since I did an update of Stuff What’s Been Wrote By Me, and given that my Vine piece Why An Abbot Election Victory Would Be Good is going freakin’ nuts on the social medias, I figured it was a good time to link at it and get some sweet, sweet Google action.

The reason there hasn’t been a lot in the way of updates is that I’m planning on splitting the site up: making a fancy site that actually makes me look somewhat professional, and dedicating this to Songs You Should Rediscover Today Etc and the other things I love doing but get neglectful about. Of course, it’s coming on the back of moving house and a bunch of other fairly seismic life changes, so… yeah. The second I get a chance to do the site thing, I’ll let you know.

In the meantime, read the Abbott piece and hopefully feel a little bit better about what’s around the corner. And when you’ve read that and think “eh, need something more snide” then read Unfiending: the gentle art of losing jerks on Facebook at Time Out. 

And my last Daily Life piece was quite snarky, I thought: A guide to not giving women the ‘wrong idea’.

Hell, here are my Vine 10 Things pieces for the last week too. Get those numbers up.

…oh, and a Breeders interview! That was also pretty fun!

Anyway: my point is that you’re looking lovely today, and thanks.

Yours ever,

APS

 

How Breaking Bad could still end on an upbeat note + more

Hi, Internet,

See, he's happy! It's ALL GOING TO BE FINE!

See, he’s happy! It’s ALL GOING TO BE FINE!

I’m going to just starting linkin’ things on here that I think you – the Internet – would want to read. Like this: my piece at the Vine on how Breaking Bad could still end on an upbeat note. Yeah, big issues. That’s what I do.

So yes. You can read it at the Vine, and good times will be had. Or brief distractions. Speaking of the Vine, here’s last year’s 10 Things for Mon-Thurs, so you can feel learnéd and erudite.

Oh, who HASN'T confused legitimate news and violent fetish porn? - 10 Things Oh, who HASN’T confused legitimate news and violent fetish porn? – 10 Things

Maybe don't choose the red at Peter Dowling's dinner parties - 10 Things Maybe don’t choose the red at Peter Dowling’s dinner parties – 10 Things

Joe Hockey won't make a budget forecast with your dumb Treasury figures for jerks - 10 Things Joe Hockey won’t make a budget forecast with your dumb Treasury figures for jerks – 10 Things

Australia contracts election fever, pandemic warning issued for September - 10 Things Australia contracts election fever, pandemic warning issued for September – 10 Things

Enjoy stuff, if you fancy it.

Yours ever,

APS

One of them writin’ updates! Of writin’!

Morning, internet,

See? I know how the internet works.

See? I know how the internet works.

I’m a bit embarrassed about the delay, but let me assure you that I’m going to attempt to get back into the doing the regular update thing, not least because it’s the only way I can remember what the hell I’ve done and dammit, these invoices won’t send themselves. So, what’s been worth reading of my writing of late?

There’s a story about my best/worst interview with Blur up at Fasterlouder, I did a piece on When Women are Offered as a Job Perk a week or so back for Daily Life, my Time Out columns Your news, in porn parody terms, Least Likely Names for the Royal Baby and Guess what? Your stuff on MySpace has vanished, although there are some others I should find and put in the archive, and a piece on doing a sleep study that I wrote up for the Guardian. I’ll add some Time Out interviews in here when I find ’em – Japandroids, Tim Ferguson, Deap Vally… but here’s my interview with Elise Andrew of I Fucking Love Science, which is kinda great (mainly because she’s such a smart and articulate dame).

And here’s the last two weeks of news at the Vine too:

'Hotel California' claims yet another victim via karaoke murder - 10 Things ‘Hotel California’ claims yet another victim via karaoke murder – 10 Things

Did YOUR dog chew off your testicles in the night? - 10 Things Did YOUR dog chew off your testicles in the night? – 10 Things

Russia's president sends strong message to the nation's fish - 10 Things Russia’s president sends strong message to the nation’s fish – 10 Things

Powerful international figures brought down by hubris, genitals - 10 Things Powerful international figures brought down by hubris, genitals – 10 Things

Kurt Cobain approached to inspire college football team FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE - 10 Things Kurt Cobain approached to inspire college football team FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE – 10 Things

Insert hilarious "Beyoncé attacked by fan!" headline here - 10 Things Insert hilarious “Beyoncé attacked by fan!” headline here – 10 Things

UK to ban all online pornography in final victory over boobs, wangs - 10 Things UK to ban all online pornography in final victory over boobs, wangs – 10 Things

We'll ALL be unsettled in Australia - 10 Things We’ll ALL be unsettled in Australia – 10 Things

…and there’s stuff coming up in the Sunday Tele (reviews of The Bling Ring, The Way, Way Back and 100 Bloody Acres), Rolling Stone (Franz Ferdinand interview) and a bunch of other things. But there should be more, you’re right. Next week, honest.

Yours ever (exhausted),

APS

The words… always the words…

Oh, Internet.

I know, it’s been ages. And I’ve written a lot. Like, a stupid amount of stuff.

Like what, you may justifiably ask.

Oh, let me tell you.

There’s a You Am I interview in Rolling Stone, and a scathing review of The Internship for the Sunday Telegraph, and the current Australian Guitar has my Black Sabbath cover story.

For stuff online that I can actually link to, there’s a tonne of stuff. For one thing, I’m now doing some writing for the Guardian’s Australian operations, which is why I interviewed Ralf Hütter from Kraftwerk and reviewed Matthew E White’s show at Vivid.

I did some pieces for the Vine, including this handy guide How to Die on Mars.

Time Out, of course, has a load of stuff. Like, oooh, the opening of Newtown Social ClubGodzilla, You Am I, and other articles I’ll get linked up as soon as they go live.

And there are some snide things about the guy who invented the GIF and the alternatives to Bananas in Pyjamas.

And my regular Time Out columns: latest one is me admitting to not being a drinker anymore (and how much that sucks) in Prisoner of Sobriety, and there’s also When is it appropriate to wear a onesie, Why Coffee is Great and this year’s hottest book to film adaptations.

And, of course, there’s my news for the Vine, of which there’s been a lot. Here’s two weeks of them:

Sexists annoyed that they can't even be sexist without being branded sexists - 10 ThingsSexists annoyed that they can’t even be sexist without being branded sexists – 10 Things

Sales of Orwell's 1984 up by 7000%, definitely unrelated to government surveillance - 10 Things Sales of Orwell’s 1984 up by 7000%, definitely unrelated to government surveillance – 10 Things

Man sends unsolicited dick pic, recipient forwards to his mum - 10 Things Man sends unsolicited dick pic, recipient forwards to his mum – 10 Things

So, who do you reckon will be PM tomorrow? - 10 Things So, who do you reckon will be PM tomorrow? – 10 Things

Elderly man visits doctor with tummy trouble, finds out he's biologically female - 10 Things Elderly man visits doctor with tummy trouble, finds out he’s biologically female – 10 Things

Happy nothing-interesting-happened-in-Tiananmen-Square day, China! - 10 Things Happy nothing-interesting-happened-in-Tiananmen-Square day, China! – 10 Things

Kitty smuggles phones into Russian prison no we're not making this up - 10 Things Kitty smuggles phones into Russian prison no we’re not making this up – 10 Things

"Ugly Hoe" latest entry in hot new yearbook caption-changing trend - 10 Things “Ugly Hoe” latest entry in hot new yearbook caption-changing trend – 10 Things

…and I promise I won’t leave it this long again, principally because I forget what I’ve done. It’s been a weirdly full-one little while.

Yours ever,

APS

Hey Internet, here’s some stuff to read

Morning,

It’s a mini-update, really, because there’s been minimal stuff published this week. A lot of actual writing, mind, as will become clear in future issues of Time Out, Blunt and Rolling Stone, but in terms of things you can click on right now… it looks pretty pathetic. But: there’s my column at Time Out this week is How to stage a successful music festival. And, of course, there’s a bunch of 10 Things at the Vine, such as…

Paul McCartney attacked by, duets with giant swarm of Brazilian grasshoppers - 10 Things Paul McCartney attacked by, duets with giant swarm of Brazilian grasshoppers – 10 Things

Girls Gone Wild founder heading for jail after Girls Gone To Police - 10 Things Girls Gone Wild founder heading for jail after Girls Gone To Police – 10 Things

Giant boozed-up monster attacks Ghostbuster and Stormtrooper - 10 Things Giant boozed-up monster attacks Ghostbuster and Stormtrooper – 10 Things

China's official newspaper moves into state-of-the-art Penisdome - 10 Things China’s official newspaper moves into state-of-the-art Penisdome – 10 Things

I think there should be a Spring Breakers film review somewhere around too. Hmm. I should hunt it down.

Yours ever,

APS

The APS Bunch o’ Writing Update

Morning, Internet,

So, what’s been happening in the bit of the world that’s made entirely of things I wrote over the last couple of weeks? Not enough, obviously, but a fair whack.

There’s some good things, like this piece on Why it’s okay to shame OkCreeps, and  7 reasons why ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ makes no sense, both for the Vine.

My Time Out columns have been explaining Why should we bother with ANZAC Day and Why Fred Nile wants a referendum on marriage equality, so expect things to get a lot more pop-culturey in the coming weeks. There’ve also been some music things, like my interviews with Deftones and the Sunnyboys and a review of the two Sydney They Might Be Giants shows. Oh, and my one sentence album reviews – and I wrote an obituary for Chrissy Amphlett at Mess+Noise. The New Blunt has quite a lot of CD reviews of mine as well.

And, of course, my Vine news – which looks like this:

You can't name your baby Anal in New Zealand for some reason - 10 Things You can’t name your baby Anal in New Zealand for some reason – 10 Things

Roaming gangs of sherpas terrorise Everest - 10 Things Roaming gangs of sherpas terrorise Everest – 10 Things

Puny humans lose legal challenge from mighty bee overlords - 10 Things Puny humans lose legal challenge from mighty bee overlords – 10 Things

Breathalysers: they're not just for drunk drivers anymore! - 10 Things Breathalysers: they’re not just for drunk drivers anymore! – 10 Things

Curiosity Rover draws mighty space wang on Mars - 10 Things Curiosity Rover draws mighty space wang on Mars – 10 Things

Hipster Jesus campaign totes going to make Catholicism cool and popular - 10 Things Hipster Jesus campaign totes going to make Catholicism cool and popular – 10 Things

…and At least it’s the Earth itself trying to kill us instead of some nut with a bomb, right?  – 10 Things, and Nation’s pro-humping agenda produces 23 millionth Australian – 10 Things.

So yeah, stuff. There’s been stuff. Hopefully there’ll be even more by the next update.

Yours ever,

APS

…and what’s APS written this week? More stuff, probably?

Dear the Internet,

It’s Friday, so about time to assess my worth as a human being by counting up the amount of words I wrote that got published.

And it’s low.

That’s at least partially because a lot of said words are for magazines that are yet to be published, or (in the case of Cosmos and, next week, Time Out Melbourne) published but not yet online), but even so: it’s a fairly pathetic haul.

That said: here’s my Daily Life piece In Defence of Marriage, about marriage being a thing that people should be able to do. Also, here’s a wildly positive review of the new Underground Lovers album Weekend, which is fantastic, at mess+noise. And this week’s column for Time Out in Sydney and Melbourne, Should Alan Jones Just Shut The Hell Up? (spoiler: yes. Yes, he should).

And four days of news for the Vine, which was rather like this:

My my, doesn't NZ look more progressive than certain other Australasian countries? - 10 Things My my, doesn’t NZ look more progressive than certain other Australasian countries? – 10 Things

Nun heading to sainthood via holy miracle of poo - 10 Things Nun heading to sainthood via holy miracle of poo – 10 Things

Heroin, 2013 could be your greatest year yet! - 10 Things Heroin, 2013 could be your greatest year yet! – 10 Things

Hugh Jackman remains safely unpubed by stalker - 10 Things Hugh Jackman remains safely unpubed by stalker – 10 Things

…and that’s pretty much it. Will next week be the week I feel like I’ve achieved a damn thing in what I laughingly refer to as my career? Let’s find out, gang!

(spoiler alert: no.)

Yours in desperate gratitude,

APS

The Obligatory End Of Week Update

Morning, Internet,

I’ve been scribbling away frantically on a lot of magazine stuff for Time Out, Blunt and Australian Guitar, plus some big awesome pieces that I’ll boast about later, but there’s a couple of columns for Time Out – my In Defence of Hipsters piece is in Sydney this week, while Melbourne’s gotten a big ol’ rant about The Gentle Art of Heckling (complete with an old photo of me sans beard. It looks weird and wrong). Oh, and I did a thing about Daft Punk’s Wee Waa listening event for Time Out in which I got snarky about upcoming albums, and also did a Fasterlouder piece on Margaret Thatcher’s Five Greatest Contributions to Pop.

And of course I’m up at an ungody hour Monday-Thursday to tell you all about what’s happening in the world. For example:

Life becomes bad cartoon as man ties puppy to railway tracks - 10 Things Life becomes bad cartoon as man ties puppy to railway tracks – 10 Things

Why do Girl Guides oppose the sexy, sexy operation of the free press? - 10 ThingsWhy do Girl Guides oppose the sexy, sexy operation of the free press? – 10 Things

Fatal stroke suspected of left wing bias - 10 Things Fatal stroke suspected of left wing bias – 10 Things

Naked man wins whiskey from crocodiles - 10 Things Naked man wins whiskey from crocodiles – 10 Things

I think I’ve a Daily Life piece appearing today too. Still, seems a bit thin. So, let’s do a bunch more next week, huh?

Yours ever,

APS